Manifesting happiness

Pretty pictures from Portugal fill
my Instagram feed. 

"You are manifesting this," she said to me. "You know that, don't you?"

I paused. Did I know that? My immediate reaction was to deny it. And yet I somehow knew she was right. Not just Portugal, but everything. 

"I guess I hadn't thought of it that way," I said. 

"Well, you are," she said. "You'll go (to Portugal) and find a place, a room with someone who can help you. You see it, don't you?"

And I could. 

I had been picturing other things. The places I'd visit, streets, coffee shops, museums. Scenic vistas you see in pictures. But I suddenly could see a room in a house. A nice place to start and get my bearings. 

I smiled. 

It's hard not to smile around my friend Nancy. She's almost always smiling. Even when she's serious, she will break into an eye-crinkling grin. She exudes happiness. She said she is so happy. It's obvious she is. 

She said I'm happy now, too. She said she can see it. When she first met me a year ago, she said she could see I wasn't happy. 

"But now you're happy. You are," she said, emphasizing the "are." 

She grinned at me, and I grinned back. I am certainly happy in her company. 

I know I said "happy" was no longer in my lexicon. But if feeling like I do with Nancy is happiness, then I am happy. 

I feel that way with others, too. Joy in the moment, in little things. 

Am I manifesting that? Am I creating everything in my life? It certainly is possible. The good and the not-so-good.

If I am, it's imperative that I answer the most important question: What do I want?